ChefSpice

All I Ask Is That You Be Nice To Me when Im Online,OR ILL Put You On My Ignore List...Lol!

Hi EveryBody & Welcome To My HomePage At The Moment.....Sorry But i Haven't Had Time To Add Stuff To My Page Yet but I Am Working On it..Please Be Patient.Lol :) I Hope For The Moment Though You Enjoy & Simply Just Have Fun...XXX Spicygal

****************************** Quote Of The Day>>>>"The Best Things In Life Come From Living Dangerously"! *********************

Joke of The Day>>>> HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN"

Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband/boyfriend seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. > > > Look at womanly physique in the mirror and suck in belly. Complain and whine about getting fat. Get in shower. Look for facecloth, arm cloth, loincloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pomice stone. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. Condition hair with cucumber and lamprey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until redraw. > > > Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake bodywash. Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's all come off. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when boyfrien/husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot. Turn off shower. Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. . . . . . . . attack with nails and tweezers (if you can find them). Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed. > > >*****************************

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN>> Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her while shouting "Way, Hey! ! " Look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch bollocks and smell fingers for one last whiff. Get in shower. Don't bother to look for wash cloth, don't need one. Wash face. Wash armpits. Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower. Wash bollocks and the surrounding area. Wash arse, leaving hair on soap. Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. Make Mohican hairstyle with shampoo. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. Piss in shower. Rinse off and get out of shower,Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time. Partially dry off. Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of knob again. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor. Leave bathroom light and fan on.Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, grab knob, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.Put on yesterday's clothes. ***********************************************

(JOKE 2)___________________________________A man goes to the doctor and says, "I've got this sex problem, Doc. You've got to help me." "Well," says the quack, "tell me about your average day." "Well it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up at about 3am and again at about 5am for nookie. Later, we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work!" "Oh I see," says the doc. "No, hang on," says the young man "you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl every day, we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there." "Oh... now I see," says the quack. "No you don't," says our hero. "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom." "Oh.... now I see," says the quack. "No, no, no," says the randy old bugger. "When I go to lunch I meet this dinner lady I'm very fond of, and we nip out the back for a quickie." "Now I understand," says the extremely patient doctor. "No, hang on," says the man. "When I get back to work in the afternoon my boss - a very demanding lady I might add - has to have me or she says she'll give me the sack!" "Ahh...." says the doctor, "now I see." "No, there's more," says our man, almost in tears. "When I get home my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and then we have sex afterwards!" By now, the exasperated doctor is beginning to lose his cool, "So just what is your problem?!" "Well..." says our hero, "it hurts when I wank." ____